mojave_wolf

My post

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 03:11:24 GMT

I was going to post on the health care bill, and comment in a couple of threads. I was going to answer someone over at Solarbird's, and I was going to comment at Violet's where she asked people what they thought, and, stuff. But.

Sasha has actually read the bill. Really. Not just comments on it. (eta: I was wrong. She has read all the summaries, including the detailed one, and she has *started* the bill, which is 1900 pages wrong, if my brain addled fever has things right this time.) And she thinks, it is, IF (and ONLY if) you remove the Stupevil Amendment, (eta: and if it does what the summaries say' it does,) it has some good stuff. Many people are saying many contradictory things about it, so I assume some of this is subject to interpretation. So, I was going to read it, and see if, minus Stupevil, it was Not So Awful as is rumored (i.e., a step in the right direction, as opposed to a giant waste of time and effort to ensure continued insurance company profits, which was the impression I actually had it would be even w/out Stupevil, the Amendment That Must Be Ax-Murdered, which is, really and truly, every bit so awful as is rumored, and which I have read)(and the other question is, can we believe the people who say this will not survive the senate? yes, if they think doing otherwise will get them ridden out of town on a rail, but then, the good parts might not survive the senate either, so the whole thing will have to be reread, which, well, not a fun time).

Alas.

I have a fever. Yeah, I know. I'm wanting to write on health care reform, and I am prevented due to sudden unexpected illness. Isn't it ironic? (yes I really do think) Probably the beginnings of new sort of swine flu, which is invariably fatal and has mutated so that it can be transmitted through computer connections and picked up by reading the blogs or other writings of infected persons, symptoms to commence w/in 7 days of reading, severe symptoms to commence within 10 days of that. If this turns out to be the case, to all of you whom I have fatally infected, I apologize. Just remember, by the time you know whether or not to be mad at me, I'll already (should this hypothetical scenario.be true) probably have been visited by a cute goth girl wearing an ankh who will have taken me by the hand and led me in a merry dance, singing "it's a wham, bam, shang a lang and a sha la la la day" (what, you thought we'd sing" (Don't Fear) The Reaper?"). (yes, confused puncuation. When in doubt, slam them upside the head with everyhting including the kitchen sink until squirrels race by the window). And this would be wonderful, except, I would feel bad for my SO and pack, having to stare down at my dead body and wondering what to do with it, and probably feeling sad. So, this can't happen, unless we all die at once, in which case a cute goth girl wearing an ankh who would lead us all in a merry dance, singing "it's a wham, bam shang a lang and a sha la la la day!" would be a welcome site indeed. Or sight, as the case should be.

Um. I was going to say something else. It might have had some relevance to soemthing. But I can't remember what it was. So, instead, I shall go back to doing what I was doing before I got sick, and imagine myself inflicting much misery upon many deserving miscreants via pyrokinesis, ax cleaving, and sledgehammer bashing. Except for moments of fun and pleasure, I had been doing that a lot all weekend, cause I've been just one raging cauldron of pissed off at and about all sorts of things, and to imagine unleashing the rage was sometimes a pleasure, and sometimes it just happened, but always there lurking around the edges.. Probably this was a contributing factor to me finally getting sick when I had been blithely shrugging off all the coughing people around me for weeks. Possibly it was an early symptom of infection. ( Sasha says yes. I was overly murderous in my rage, and if I had been feeling such rage at other things, then it was almost certainly sign of something wrong)

Which, hopefully, will not really transmit itself to y'all who are reading this. Unless someone I don't like is reading this, in which case, well, them getting it would be a small consolation prize for me getting it. As long as I get to keep the pyrokinesis. And in case y'all haven't figured it out yet, I'm not nearly as insane as I probably sound. Which is not to say I'm exaggerating even a tiny little bit. Cause, am not. Stream of consciousness babble can get addicting, and addiction is bad, especially if it's to somethign that will annoy people (be thankful I'm not speaking compulsivy in rhymes and referencing Etrigan, cause that would robably be worse), so I shall stop now.

Anyway, was almost convinced by Sasha's reading that bill as whole was better than advertised before got too hot/cold/sleepy/other to pay attention. Derailment, thy name is fever!

May they scream in agony for weeks as all the cells in their body explode one by one

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:13:22 GMT

http://www.openleft.com/diary/15915/dems-who-voted-for-the-stupak-amendment-to-restrict-womens-rights

I would like to point out it's a piece of shit democrat who proposed this legislation, and 64 of them voted for it, and the rest voted pass the healthcare bill with this attached. I hate the Democrats more than I hate the Republicans right now, and have no love for any who voted for this in any way shape or form, even those who tried to do something better initially and even those who are hoping it gets removed in conference. If they all choke to death on their own feces, it will be too good for them.

As for those who actually voted for this amendment, see my title.

What is even the purpose of having a Democratic Party at this point, except to rubber stamp the desires of their corporate donors while providing rhetorical cover that convinces the somehow-still-delusional-masses-of-sheep out there that we have something even vaguely resembling a representative government, when in fact we do NOT?

I hate them. I truly, truly hate them. More than I hate Obama, who was predictable to be this awful and has hardly even disguised what he's about, and more than I hate the Republicans, who may be batshit insane and who frequently advocate flat out evil, but who are at least upfront about what that they are trying to do. But all the democratic leadership who have given all appearances of being sane, willing to pass a not even good healthcare bill that will effectively gut abortion rights (and in general not cover a lot of women's services, as covered extensively at reclusive leftist and tgw and corrente and various other places) more than. the Republicans have ever managed?

Oh, wait, but at least they've been good for the environment and stopped the onrushing police state W started and ended war and . . .

Seriously, all of them. ALL OF THEM. EVERY SINGLE MEMBER OF CONGRESS WHO CAVED ON THIS . . . and by caved I mean gave this cover by voting for it at all or even who refusedto denounce in absolutely vicious terms their fellow congress people who voted for this ebola virus of a bill . . .

The Democratic Party as currently constructed is a worthless heap of diseased Cheney vomit.

Please refer to my reference to the inverted totalitarianism discussion. If we aren't totally there yet, we are close enough, and unless people wake up, we might as well be. And if this doesn't wake a majority of democrats up and they are stupid enough to follow the msm and hail this legislation as a good thing, then it really is hopeless, war is over, might as well sit back and watch the world rot to death.

See here for quotes from *before* this dipshit amendment passed:
http://www.reclusiveleftist.com/2009/11/04/a-year-later-world-suddenly-gets-what-pumas-were-talking-about/#comment-35449

So it turns out that the Democratic-sponsored health care reform bill will officially treat women as unpersons: freakish beings whose bizarre, non-human needs cannot possibly be considered part of basic health care. Perhaps we’re extra-terrestrials:

None of the bills emerging from the House and Senate require insurers to cover all the elements of a standard gynecological “well visit,” leaving essential care such as pelvic exams, domestic violence screening, counseling about sexually transmitted diseases, and, perhaps most startlingly, the provision of birth control off the list of basic benefits all insurers must cover. Nor are these services protected from “cost sharing,” which means that, depending on what’s in the bill that emerges from the Senate, and, later, the contents of a final bill, women could wind up having to pay for some of these services out of their own pockets.

As for abortion, no fucking way, Jose:

The bill also prevents affordability credits from being used to pay for abortion coverage; the credits would help middle-class and working-class Americans purchase insurance coverage on the private market. Eighty-seven percent of existing private insurance plans cover abortion, which is significantly cheaper and less medically risky than pregnancy and childbirth. After reform, if insurers want to continue to provide such care, the House bill would require them to segregate all government funding from the co-pays individuals pay into the plans. Abortions could only be paid for out of the “private” side of the ledger.

That was *before* the Stupak amendment. Which made things exponentially worse. And I was otherwise having a good day yesterday, until they apssed that on Saturday night hoping no one would notice. The hell with them all.

Those who voted for this amendment, primary them, and if that fails, you might as well vote for a Republican in the general if they get out of the primaries, because while they will almost certaintly be as bad, they can't be worse, and this will get the evil shit out of the party for which their is faint hope. (see, here: http://firedoglake.com/2009/11/07/stupak-amendment-passes-64-dems-ask-for-primary-opponents/ )

Or, alternatively, a real 3rd party that is actually liberal, and leave the dems alone forever in the pile of ashes they have made of their party.
Anyone who has money and free time and hope who cares at all about the future of the world should start investing in such a thing now.

Inverted totalitarianism & suppression of dissent

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:14:18 GMT

I realize this may seem trivial compared to my last post, but thought it an interesting topic to bring up. (and this has actually been on my screen unposted since yesterday morning, so, adding stuff)

Corrente has a new chat feature that you can see on the side of the page (at least if you're a logged in member, dunno if otherwise?); I'll put the whole thing that came up this morning under the cut, cause, again, interesting, but here is what I thought key part:

Johnson, quoting Wolin, says this: "The genius of our inverted totalitarian system 'lies in wielding total power without appearing to, without establishing concentration camps, or enforcing ideological uniformity, or forcibly suppressing dissident elements so long as they remain ineffectual…' "

This was done quite effectively post-9/11 by using "patriotism" and "unity" as cudgels, with dissenters from the Bush admnistration being not only divisive and potentially treasonous, but not "grown-ups". And it's still being done now, using a variety of different tactics, but one thing practically all sides do (and I am guilty of myself on occasion) is marginalize people/opinions by suggesting that anyone who holds it is looney tunes. And clearly, some people do hold opinions that are woefully in conflict with reality and it annoying and time consuming (arguably pointlessly time consuming) to explain things that should be elementary to people who are almost certain to dismiss it anyway (try explaining the concept of "patriarchy" to one of those guys who say "women hold all the power" sometime, or why taxes and spending are necessary to a Republican or doctrinaire libertarian/Randian, and I wish you the best of luck with this). But opposing conventional wisdom? Not always looney tunes. (remember when something like 70%+ of the country was sure Saddam had nukes and was all ready to come after us and we had to invade in a hurry, and the tiny minority of us who thought he didn't and were sure he wasn't and that invading was a really, really bad idea were supposedly wacked?)

And there are plenty of political positions that are dismissed out of hand even though they are the sort of thing reasonable people can disagree on. I was going into more details on this, but if I do, this post will never wind up being written, so I leave you w/the thought above.

Otherwise, on the positive, yay Washington! I think, havent' seen final #'s. Fuck all in main. Yay districts in CA and NY. VA, not a surprise. NJ? HUGE surprise. All of these things have implications worth thinking about. The country seems split 50/50 'tween homophobes and non-homophobes, which not great but really no excuse for dems to keep running scared here, either. A relatively left leaning dem runs as himself and wins in a supposedly conservative dem CA district, and the wingnuts chase out the pro-gay, pro choice, pro labor Republican woman, Fox says she is dropping out to ensure the conservative win, she promptly endorses the democrat, and even w/her taking several % points after dropping out, the dem still wins. So, the media wisdom about both parties should move to the right to appeal to more people is clearly, um, way wrong. Corporatist, prudent incramentalist NJ Dem gov. bearing strong political/econ resemblance to Obama running in liberal state gets smashed because people are angry about the economy. Anger about the economy is real, and not limited to wingnuts. Democratic leadership, take heed. White house shows how deeply involved it is in all these things by saying Obama isn't watching the results. Wonder how long that will take to get walked back? Though more and more Obama is reminding me of Bush I.

(I dunno how to bring up what has gone before)
* 17:25:02 Jeff W But co-oping public opinion through a "tribalism" (normative) approach would fall within "inverted totalitarianism," I guess. (Sorry for the confusion.)
* 17:22:48 Jeff W Oops, sorry, I read the bolded part of the quote as meaning the opposite of what it says.
* 16:24:56 Jeff W Well, I haven't read Wolin's book (yet), only Chalmers Johnson's review. It doesn't appear as if there is a specific connection but Johnson, quoting Wolin, says this: "The genius of our inverted totalitarian system 'lies in wielding total power without appearing to, without establishing concentration camps, or enforcing ideological uniformity, or forcibly suppressing dissident elements so long as they remain ineffectual…' " It defnitely could be a dynamic within the IT framework, I guess.
* 15:23:46 lambert Does "inverted totalitarianism" connect to Silber's "tribalism" and if so, how?
* 14:56:01 lambert It's not about personalities, but "access blogging." You can't on the one hand organize your blogging around access in 2009, and on the other hand claim the presumption of good faith that bloggers could, say, in 2003, when they were really "hippies." That is the nub of the issue.
* 14:17:38 Jeff W Well, I defended you, lambert, in my own tepid way: [url] I characterized "your position" all over the place, badly, of course, but made it clear it was "my view" of your position. Apologies in advance if I blew it completely.
* 12:19:01 Jeff W I like the Keynes post. (And I have to remember to use the word chary every so often.)
* 08:55:12 lambert Even if its fiction, it's still a good example. Reminds me of Keynes on the influence of long dead economists. And I'm sure there are utopian communities with direct influences (as opposed to dystopian states, I grant).
* 07:42:32 Michael Kwiatkowski How many examples of Hitchens lying are there? Plenty.
* 01:04:55 Jeff W Christopher Hitchens says "George Orwell's 1984 was published at about the time that Kim Il Sung set up his system [in North Korea], and it really is as if he got hold of an early copy of the novel and used it as a blueprint."[url] I wonder how many examples there are of this sort of thing.
* 23:07:35 BDBlue They certainly do, Jeff W. I can just see someone saying "disaster capitalism, what a fabulous idea" and mean it.
* 19:58:43 lambert Interesting discussion. Thanks!
* 18:55:40 Jeff W That was an interesting post. The problem, I think, with all these descriptions—"disaster capitalism," "inverted totalitarianism," etc.—is that they become prescriptive in the wrong hands. :(
* 18:52:26 Jeff W Thanks, BDB, I agree with your assessment completely.
* 15:13:38 BDBlue Cool, it worked!
* 15:13:12 BDBlue Here's the link I was talking about, I don't agree with the blogger re the markets failing, they did fail, but the article is interesting anyway. [url]
* 15:05:03 Jeff W BTW: to post a link, just paste in the link (and the chat will automatically put in the [URL] thing.
* 15:02:24 Jeff W BDBlue: And re inverted totalitarianism, here's Glenn Greenwald saying the same thing to Bill Moyers (yesterday) that I said to you. [url] (Moyers asked why Americans aren't taking to the streets.) It's only a minute.
* 14:49:20 Jeff W Sure thing. Thanks, BDBlue!
* 14:03:19 BDBlue Jeff W, re inverted totalitarianism, take a look at this post about social mgt. of the housing crisis, esp. walking away. Now I just realized I don't know how to post a link in the chat. D'oh.

Very Important Post

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:37:33 GMT

Bumper sticker I saw today, awesome or tacky?

"If you're gonna ride my ass, at least pull my hair."

Happy Birthday!

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:07:14 GMT

Hopefully you will see this before tomorrow; sorry kinda late.

Happy Birthday don_fitch!

"It's so hard, living in the devil's playground . . ."

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 15:58:02 GMT

(I started writing this last night; then got distracted partway through; hope everyone had a Happy Halloween or a sensational Samhain, as the case may be, and yay for a full moon on this particular holiday!)

They’re playing only Halloween appropriate music on the local music show tonight, which says something about the depth of musical talent in such a small area and the inclinations of the local artists, that a few dozen bands can easily fill two hours of music w/one song each given such a theme. And then there’s Gram Rabbit, & to a lesser extent Shawn Mafia, a majority of whose songs would probably be appropriate, and lol, a Shawn Mafia song just came on, The Devil Song, “What you gonna do, whatcha gonna do, sweet darling, when the devil comes looking for you?”; and heh, now a second one, “Death in D Major”)(and lol again, then there was news, and we had a visit from Nipty and Nipster {our names for them, I dunno their real names, but they like to nip, therefore their names}, Patches' two puppies next door [we don't know what happened to Patches; she disappeared in late Spring] who are less than a year old but already as big as Marley, and I had to take them back and put them in their yard, and when I get back, Gram Rabbit, "The Devil's Playground").

Finished reading “The Red Tree” this afternoon, then took a nap for a little over an hour that seemed like several, and woke to the canines barking at something outside and Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” on the radio, which seemed quite appropriate for what I had been reading. I think I had been dreaming about writing an extended review of the book, and then lay back down and proceeded to keep writing the review in my head once I established there was nothing serious going on w/the dogs, and somehow finished it before the song was over. It’s not a very long song, so I must’ve been really nearly done in my dream, and still half dreaming when I first woke up. This was followed by the song (guessing at the title) “You’re Never There”, which is absurdly appropriate, and two more pre-local music songs (especially apt, ?"All Good Things Come to an End"?, which had me convinced that my state of mind was interpreting everything to be relevant to the book. which is sort of what you might get if you placed a bitingly angry, deeply grieving and deeply depressed lesbian narrator into an updated combination of Algernon Blackwood's "The Willows" and one of Lovecraft's New England stories (gender and orientation noted only due to the male-centricness of those stories--downright sexism in Lovecraft). It's also a ghost story, thought there may or may not be any "real" ghosts in it. Anyway, after my last entry, I figure I owe y'all a cut, plus, I can't really discuss this as I'd like to w/out spoilers. So, be warned, many spoilers ahead. And I no longer remember my dream review, so you'll get something lesser.

This is a spooky book where you never quite know what's real -- It's ostensibly the journal of author Sarah Crowe, haunted by her lover's suicide, who rents a small house in rural Rhode Island in an effort to finish a contracted novel. But there's more than a little uncertainty about whether the manuscript that shows up on her editor's desk weeks after her apparent suicide is actually by her, and if it is, whether she's being haunted by more than grief and loss, or going crazy, or both (and if she's going crazy,at what point does her account cease being reliable?). And to the extent it is her journal and she is seeing things accurately, how much is she embellishing, since at one point she says she made up half of a dream she wrote while writing (or is she lying when she says this, and why?). She finds a manuscript in the basement (or, to be precise, just out from under the house through a door decorated w/myriad religous symbols into a cavern that extends outward from the basement) that purports to be a book a previous, now decased due to suicide, tenant of the house wrote about the supposedly haunted giant red oak on the property. Then there's another boarder, Constance, who may or may not be real (tho she is mentioned in the editor's framing story, a fact I forgot while reading the book, but which still doesn't entirely settle the question), and if she is real, might be simply another artist or the ghost of Sarah's lover Amanda or the ghost of the lover of another previous tenant who went on a killing spree about 80 years back, or some sort of changeling or some non-human entity. Constance finds a short story (and an outstanding & haunting short story it is in its own right) that appears to have been written by Sarah and dedicated to Amanda during her time at the house, but which Amanda has no memory of writing. There's lots of local folklore mixed in, some of which might be really real (real as in real world folklore, not novel folklore, I have to check this later)(and the tree in the novel was inspired by a real-this world real-tree).

Ghosts abound in the story -- Sarah constantly dreams of Amanda, and at times one wonders if the dream Amanda is the *real* Amanda trying to communicate, or warn, and at other times it seems to be an apparition sent by the possibly demonic tree or a servant of it or the tree itself taking Amanda's form; there's a ghost Sarah saw when she was young, there's a ghostly half-human figure seen by Sarah and Amanda, there's the ghost of his dead lover seen by the possible (probable? his account isn't entirely reliable either) serial killer, who is killing on what he thinks is her behalf, another former tenant of the house recounts seeing the ghost of his dead wife and hearing her voice, Constance saw an apparition from past days and the apparation saw her, and as mentioned, I was at several points unsure of whether Constance herself is a ghost, and Sarah is certainly haunted by Amanda's memory.

The land itself seems haunted, full of timeslips and sudden distortions of distance, perspective and direction.

All of this comes together in a boil of mounting anger and frustration and despair and growing unease and increasing tension and several scare the heck out of you moments, along with some of the best dreamscapes you're likely to see. There's not much "action" here but a lot happens and it's not slow and the sense of menace and dread and it's hard to know which is more terrifying that the author is simply losing her mind or that she's being slowly cut off from the rest of the world by something that feeds off of her blood and grief and fear.

Also, great sensual depiction of the landscape and the characters and general wonderful atmosphere.

Brilliantly written book, perfect for this time of year.

Halloween Dreams

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 18:07:26 GMT

As should suprise none of you, Halloween is my favorite holiday. Yeah, I think it even tops Christmas, though there is a lot to be said for good will and good cheer and winter warmth. (Speaking of which, it got into the 30's here last night, and was very windy. Since my car has developed a short circuit in the lighting department, which keeps blowing all my fuses, so I can no longer drive it at night, I got to have a fun, 7 full miles walk last night, from about 7 to 7:30-ish, carrying groceries into the face of the wind; they were light groceries, but if you're not in shape for it that gets tiring. Also, the bottom of my shoes are getting worn out) Anyway . ..

The last book I finish before Halloween (barring either grave catastrophe or an impossible lightning read of some other book) is going to be Caitlin Kiernan's The Red Tree. I'm about 100 pages from the finish ,but let me say right now, this thus far an *awesome* book, and perfect for this time of year. It's going to rank with "Low Red Moon" and "Silk" as my favorites of hers, I think, tho these are all very different books (with a lot in common, at the same time). One of the interesting things about this is just how much I have in common w/the protagonist; I grew up in a small town 40 miles or so from the Birmingham, AL city limits, and this character grew up in a small town about 15-20 miles away. And referenced "Mayberry" from the Andy Griffith Show, and one of the main supporting characters, Goober Lindsay, is from my small town. Also, the narrator focuses on dreams and a tendency to digress in her writing a lot, and in case none of you have noticed, I every now and then have a tendency to digress. Wandering are my thoughts.

And, two days ago (I was occupied yesterday, so didn't get around to writing this until now), there was a dream sequence that was so reminiscent of a dream I had around New Year's way back one year in college. I worked it into the novel I was then writing, and I would just copy that more immediate transcript into here but, hey, lost the manuscript. Still, it seems appropriate for this time of year. So, a bit over 20 years later, told very baldly and without much attention to detail because I'm sleepy and my shoulders ache and I want to go back to bed, here is my then-dream:

I was having some sort of other dream, I don't remember what, when I suddenly walked out of it. I mean, literally, I was dreaming, and I saw this cloud of mist or fog, with a hole in it, and on the other side of the whole were beautiful rolling green hills, sort of glowing with a vibrant golden cast. And I walked along the hills a bit with more mist on each side but blue sky and sun above, and I realized I had been dreaming before and was not physically awake now, but felt this was somehow a different sort of dream, more real. (this was before I had ever tried or even knew what lucid dreaming was, though it did spur a great deal of research into dreams and lucid dreaming in particular; I got quite good at that while living alone in LA a couple of years later, was doing it almost every night for a bit, but it's one of those things you have to --or at least I have to--consciously practice to be able to do)(plus, in general or in their entirety, I did not find deliberately sought after lucid dreams to be more real, or meaningful,in any sense, or if I did I've forgotten it now). And at some point there was no long mist on any side, or sunlight overhead, or a sense of being in a dream at all. I was walking in a broad path, or more like a giant stretch long rectangular field, much too wide to be a road, with large trees on all sides with a giant cliff a hundred or a couple of hundred yards off on one side of the trees (I'm not great at estimating distance, especially from that long ago and someplace I never saw again), and everything was basically normal except there was a really strong sense of the *aliveness* of everything. Grass, trees, rocks, etc. Which I know a lot of these re always alive, but, seemed moreso here. From being more real than a normal dream, this was more like more real than everyday reality; everything was vibrant and stirring like when the wind's picking up right before a storm. And over head the sky was a mass of rolling glowing grey clouds, lit up by interior lightning, sort of. And everything just had this sense of importance. And I felt especially alive and just walking there was kinda fun.

And then I saw this *huge* old stone church, with moss growing on a lot of the stones (and they were huge stones)(giant block wallks, but with an attic still of giant stone blocks, shaped more like the top of a house than the flatness you'd except from a temple, and I haven't been to a church or been back home in so long I don't even remember what sort of roofs they normally have, there, seriously, but I remember this) in a clearing cut amidst the trees. And there was a cloaked and cowled figure standing in front of it beckoning me closer. I think I may have been vaguely scared or nervous, I must have been, but I can't remember now, just the sense of extra aliveness and importance. The church was the most alive and vibrant thing there, except maybe the sky. There was no face, just darkness, under the cowl when I got closer, and it pointed towards an open door, double doors like a lot of churches except big like a cathedral door, at ground level, and I looked in and there were candles and darkness and a a constant chanting that I couldn't understand and a lot of shadowy figures moving in there, and I was absolutely certain that if I went in *that* way, they would kill me. I remember the dilemna, I felt I had to go in, but I knew for 100% certainty that I was going to be stabbed to death with long curved knives with golden handles that all of the shadowy figures were carrying, even though I couldn't actually see any knives.

And suddenly I started floating upward, towards the window in the middle of the top floor or attic or whatever and I thought "yeah, maybe go in this way" then I floated through the window and there was suddenly nothing but a whole universe of nothing but crushing darkness extending infintiely in all directions; no windows out or light or anything (so don't ask me how I knew the darkness extended infinitely in all directions; I just did, or at least thought I did). I mean *literally* crushing, it's like my spirit was floating there and was a coherent whole and it was being literally crushed. And I fough the darkness as hard as I could, desperately fighting not to just get compacted out of existence, but this massive, massive weight crushing in equally from all sides until I was an ever shrinking sphere and I fought desperately but hopelessly and I was really able to think of nothing else but trying to survive and then suddenly this glowing white light filled me up and I was a sphere of glowing white light and I was still being crushed but I had an interneal pressure to counter the external and I lashed out at the darkness with the light (Yeah, yeah, I get the Genesis imagery here, sorta) and then I was being filled up with more light than I could stand and I thought *that* was going to destroy me even as it was saving my ass, and giant lashes of burning white light swept into the darkness and the light was burning and destroying the darkness and the darkness recoiled and I remember thinking it seemed hurt and I actually felt sorry for the darkness and wondered if I should stop what was happening but didn't know how and I was also thinking I was going to be destroyed, just seared out of existence instead of crushed, and at some point there was no darkness anymore, just pure white light, and then I woke up.

I woke up relieved at being alive and exhausted. Then went back to sleep and slept normally, but I was groggy as hell all the next day. I was home for Christmas break, I can't remember if it was New Year's or not but it was around there, and Mom got really mad at me for staying in bed all day and acting out of it when I was awake, but so exhausted and groggy. I started feeling better that night and was fully recovered the next day.

Very strange.

ps- thanks to BrigidsBlest for doing a "31 favorite Halloween movies" list, as it reminded me of two of my all time favorites, "The Masque of Red Death" and "Near Dark" both definitely belonging in my all time top ten, I think. The latter is a good movie for sensuality and romance,too, a very great sad and beautiful date movie, if anyone's looking for such a horror movie and hasn't seen it.,

Swim Out Past the Breakers, Watch the World Die (some more)

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:24:00 GMT

Not sure about the source, but heard it onABC radio news today. Only 57% of Americans now believe there is strong evidence for mainmade global warming, down from 77% in 2006. And this is a war I thought our side was winning/had already won. Yikes!

"Swim Out Past the Breakers, Watch the World Die, Pt 14"

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:49:01 GMT

Go here:
http://jblaque.livejournal.com/735379.htm

Another truly gruesome story, this time of birds on uninhabited islands in the middle of the pacific dying in droves because they ingested our garbage.

That the powers-that-be haven't yet tried to do anything about the floating islands of garbage in the ocean, when anyone with the tiniest amount of imagination and brains would have to realize it's going to lead to more and more things like this, and then combine with the increasing # of dead zones in the ocean . . .

But no, we have to bail out wall street and the insurance companies and try to protect Blackwater goons (I don't have the link in front of me, but if you don't know what I mean by that last, google Blackwater, rape, Franken, Republicans, and you'll see what I mean; Franken was the good guy here, btw, go Minnesota for electing him).

Swim out past the breakers, and watch the world die. (part 13.7)

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:23:04 GMT

If you click on nothing else I ever post, click here:

http://www.correntewire.com/priorities_pravda

(chart comparing what is spent on the financial bail-out in just 12 months to various other things spanning years and centuries)

Now, think about what we could do w/the money it cost to invade Iraq, and then think about how the financial services bail out dwarfs that.

Fully funded federal health care for all? Check.
Fully funded college education for all who want it? Check.
Enough money to every individual in the country that everyone not already well off would see a noticable improvement in living standards for at least six months? Check.
Vast investment into renewable energy resources that could give us energy independence and fight climate change? Check.
All of this combined? I dunno, but I wouldn't be surprised.
Would all of these things have actually sent money into the economy to help pull us out of the current state of nastiness so they wouldn't have had to invent a "jobless recovery" and things' would actually really be getting better? Yes.

So, hundreds of millions better off and better long term prognosis, or save a few rich people? Clearly, more important to save a few rich people. Or, Larry Summers grasps key economic fundamentals well hidden from stupid people like me. Pick one. (to be fair: third conceivable alternative: Larry Summers is horribly wrong but well-intentioned and thinks he knows what he's doing and it really will be best for all and has actually crunched numbers and this all made sense to him)(or, see here: http://www.correntewire.com/headlines_say_it_all_goldman_exec_named_first_coo_sec_enforcement#comments)

Equally important, if not moreso, re: global warming, melting icecaps, and bad stuff happening faster than models predict:
http://www.theleftcoaster.com/archives/014498.php

Also important, takedown by climate scientists of new book that is either deliberately false or woefully misguided (and in either event appears to deliberately mischaracterize the opinions of primary sources, according to said sources):

http://climateprogress.org/2009/10/12/superfreakonomics-errors-levitt-caldeira-myhrvold/

Naked capitalism on the state of our press: http://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2009/10/msm-reporting-as-propaganda-no-one-minds-our-new-financial-lords-and-masters-edition.html

Hawaii as possible health care reform model, except no one is studying it: http://alegrescorner.soapblox.net/showDiary.do?diaryId=3704

Democratic leadership in action, re: student loan improvements; http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/2009/10/youve-got-to-be-kidding-me-by-digby.html

People are fucking evil, part 5 Trillion: http://jblaque.livejournal.com/734714.html (gov't approves new horrible way to kill prairie dogs that will also damage ecostystem even as prairie dog numbers continue to precipitously decline) (aka more democratic leadership in action, aka wow, it's so much different w/Bush gone! part 97)

For anyone wonderng why I'm not a fan of organized religion

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 19:26:26 GMT

See here:

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/wire/sns-ap-af-nigeria-child-witches,0,5276725.story

Warning: Some truly gruesome stories.

Since it is October . . .

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:08:34 GMT

Point for debate: While it may or may not be the scariest horror movie of all time, Carrie is the best horror movie of all time.
Even if you don't want to actually debate, would love to hear what other people think are best/favorites.

Second Point for debate: King Kong is really a tragedy, not a horror movie, even though it is usually considered one. If it is one, it would make the above point much more debatable. Relevant: When asked in a college lit class my impressions of Moby Dick, I justified my inclusion as the only undergrad in the graduate seminar by responding "I was pulling for the whale."

"Scariest," "best" and "most fun to watch" are three entirely different things, horror movie wise, imo, Scariest? "Hill House" --original, omg not the new shit thingy -- "The Ring" or "Nightmare On Elm Street" -- or or maybe "The Haunting of Hell House" or either of the first two Grudge movies or "The Shining", and I don't know if it would hold up as an adult move but Salem's Lot was was omg scary as a mini-series when I was little: I went around drawing crosses on all the doors and windows after I had a nightmare where I thought I woke up and heard a noise and went' into the kitchen and saw that caretaker vampire sitting in the chair in the den on the way back to my room and then woke up and had actually sleepwalked for the only time in my life and was standing in the den in the nearly pitch dark facing that chair. "The Birds" scared me as a kid but probably wouldn't so much now. Examples of fun but not really "good" and scary but not that scary include "Shocker", the "Jason vs. Tina" Friday the 13th movie (part VII, I think).

Best Horror Sequel: "Bride of Frankenstein" or "The Grudge 2" or other?

Best opening sequence of a horror movie: the first 15 minutes of "Werewolves on Wheels", which should be seen for that alone.

What are some of your horror favorites? What are some of the most obscure horror favorites? Things I should consider renting if haven't seen yet?

Caitlin Kiernan has a new book out, called "The Red Tree." I have it on order from the library.

A new Morganville Vampires book is due out next month. Dunno why they didn't try to get that in before Halloween. Something about when things are more likely to sell or avoiding the rush of other similarly themed books, I suppose.

wheeeeeeeeee!

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 04:30:38 GMT

car broke again. resting tomorrow, go back in and see if i can afford to fix it on friday. not in shape to walk across desert for miles carrying groceries -- even relatively light groceries (1 gal OJ, 1.5 liters shasta, 10 lbs chicken necks for canines,bagels, sketti, parmesan for sasha not me cause I hate it, i used to carry more than double this the whole 7 miles when over 100 and be okay, now it's 70 and only had to go a bit over 2 miles) -- anymore. room spins when I lay down on the floor. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Links

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 20:08:22 GMT

Things like this always make me feel good (h/t brigidsblest):
http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20091013/sc_livescience/rarecrowthoughtextinctisrediscovered

Hopefully no one will swiftly set about slaughtering the rediscovered remnants.

The momentum from people sick of both major parties' leadership seems to be increasing, which I find hopeful:

http://riverdaughter.wordpress.com/2009/10/11/njs-largest-paper-endorses-chris-daggett-for-governor-and-rejects-the-two-party-system/

To quote the star-ledger:
The newspaper’s decision is less a rejection of Gov. Jon Corzine and Republican Chris Christie than a repudiation of the parties they represent, both of which have forfeited any claim to the trust and confidence of the people of New Jersey. They share responsibility for the state’s current plight.

Only by breaking the hold of the Democratic and Republican mandarins on the governor’s office and putting a rein on their power will the state have any hope for the kind of change needed to halt its downward economic, political and ethical spiral.

Reading the article, I can't say I am particularly thrilled with this particular independent, and might actually prefer a Corzine win. On the other hand, *something* has to be done to jump start the democrats, nationally, from being the kindler, gentler, pro-corporate fuck the people party whose motto seems to be "listen to what we say, ignore what we do, and always remember, no matter what, we're less scary than the Republicans!" What constitutes acceptable costs and what are the risks of doing nothing but trying to transform from within is one of those things that becomes purely guesswork at the margins, and sometimes from anywhere.

These are why I like Susie Madrak:

http://susiemadrak.com/2009/10/12/11/13/pulling-a-double/
(quoting Michael Moore on the looting of airline pilots pension funds, and also that they are in many cases no longer making more than pizza delivery guys, and having to work second jobs; to quote either Moor or Susie, this is one of those jobs where you really want the person happy and well-rested, not tired and potentially thinking about whether their family is better off with the life insurance money)

http://susiemadrak.com/2009/10/12/12/28/bank-buster/
(lots on the need for financial regulation and Elizabeth Warren, who continues to impress me, though she apparently is not beloved of Larry Summers, which also gets her points)

Chicago Dyke quoting some advice from Dan Savage at Corrente (which I will never stop trying to get you guys to read):
http://www.correntewire.com/dan_savage_and_activism

And whatever you think about the various health care proposals, this bit makes you wonder if the dems are suicidal:
http://www.correntewire.com/about_2013_date#new

From muneraven, a company w/really awful return policies:
http://muneraven.livejournal.com/134650.html

(complete w/someone from the company stopping by her blog for damage control!)

And this movie sounds like it has potential:
http://www.spitefulcritic.com/2009/10/paranormal-activity-an-analog-demon-in-the-digital-age/

Only one of you got this?

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 16:19:33 GMT

I'm shocked! Shocked, I tell you!

Congrats go out to BrigidsBlest!

My lines were indeed loosely describing a crucial sequence of events marking the beginning of the end of Alan Moore's truly awesome American Gothic arc on Swamp Thing, arguably the finest horror comic ever written, arguably Moore's best work, and inarguably one of the greatest sequences of any comic ever. I strongly recommend all of you who haven't read it to hunt up the graphic novel (or novels, I dunno; I read it mostly in back issue but all in original format) if you can afford it or borrow it or hunt it up from a library.

I thought Sartorias knew it without saying, when she made what she says were just her chicken sounds "bbbbuck-bbuck-buck-buck", since, in one of those weird coincidences, the lead character/lead villain of the truly wonderful, awesome, amazing, you should all find it on DVD but completely unrelated-to-the-comic TV series American Gothic was one Sheriff Buck, "Buck with a B", as he liked to say. Gary Cole's finest hour. If you can't imagine the guy who played Mike Brady as one of the creepiest and most badass evildoers in television history, go watch this now! (tho for those of you. who don't like horror, this was too) And for those of you as old as me, who remember Shaun Cassidy from his Hardy Boys days and brief singles career singing covers of Surfin USA and Da Do Ran Ran and Do You Believe In Magic, back in the mid 70's (I was very, very young then, just so's you know, tho not so young I can even think of this without also thinking of Pamela Sue Martin as Nancy Drew and later Fallon on Dynasty and thinking "OMG HOT!"), he produced this truly disturbing and nightmarish bit of brilliant wonder.

For the Nitpickers, I know the term used in the series was "original darkness", not "outer darkness", and that the "sleeping giant" wasn't really asleep but deliberately letting the bird go by. (and speaking of, the early late 80's early 90's Spectre was right up there w/previously mentioned works and Sandman as far as great supernatural comics go).

And thanks to Papanook and AnaisNinja for the recommendations!

And once more w/the quote to see if makes sense now:
Spontaneous ejaculation of . . . great gouts of clotted blood bursting out of my mouth in continuous heaves, followed by further ejaculation of all my internal organs, and finally even some muscle, bone and flesh, after which I lay somehow not-dead until some strange people who live underground turned me into a raven, whereupon I picked up a pearl in my beak and carried it through various places and across the sleeping giant before dropping it into the outer darkness.

NOBODY got this????

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 16:49:32 GMT

::stares, mouth agape::

Okay, maybe, most of you got bored before you got here and never read this. Or you were distracted by the rest of the post. Or something. Or, maybe, it was the whole points and prizes to whoever gets this reference thing. You don't want my points and prizes? Fine. Because this has to bring something to mind immediately to lots and lots of you.

Scenario B: Spontaneous ejaculation of . . . great gouts of clotted blood bursting out of my mouth in continuous heaves, followed by further ejaculation of all my internal organs, and finally even some muscle, bone and flesh, after which I lay somehow not-dead until some strange people who live underground turned me into a raven, whereupon I picked up a pearl in my beak and carried it through various places and across the sleeping giant before dropping it into the outer darkness.

And you can have points (albeit, I'm not sure what the use of them is) or prizes (negotiable, non-monetary, within my capacity to give w/out breaking a sweat) if you want them.

Surely?

Things based on speculation, informed and otherwise

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 18:31:14 GMT

Since several of you are also Walter Jon Williams fans, and several of you are also fascinated by economics, and several of you are into gaming of one sort or another, and more than half of you are probably interested in near-future science fiction that puts all of these together with the collapse of civilization in Indonesia following a currency devaluation, I am going to point you to a review of Walter Jon Williams new novel This Is Not A Game here:

http://www.tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=57525

Sounds good.

Speaking of things done on spec, some of you have written me asking what I thought of Obama's Nobel Peace Prize Award. I have even written to one of you asking what one of you thought of said award.

I will say one or more of the following things might have happened, or might yet happen, or might be my actual reaction, or might have been my actual reaction, or possibly not:

Scenario A: Spontaneous orgasm.

Scenario B: Spontaneous ejaculation of fluids, except rather than orgasmically it was great gouts of clotted blood bursting out of my mouth in continuous heaves, followed by further ejaculation of all my internal organs, and finally even some muscle, bone and flesh, after which I lay somehow not-dead until some strange people who live underground turned me into a raven, whereupon I picked up a pearl in my beak and carried it through various places and across the sleeping giant before dropping it into the outer darkness.*

Scenario C: Have you ever felt like that officer in Forest Gump who loses his legs and goes on to watch the mentally challenged private who needs lots of extra guidance to get from point A to point B without accidentally killing himself become super rich and famous? Except at least Forest was genuinely good-hearted and well-intentioned and saved some lives in heroic fashion.

Imagine now that Forest was a scheming climber who stabbed people in the back left right and center on his path to becoming the most beloved president since FDR for doing nothing but continuing most of the policies of the most hated-by-the-world president in history and supervising the continuing transformation of the US into a third world economy, Imagine all this was cheered on by lots of intelligent people who share the same part of the political spectrum as you do and admit many of his failings but still feel the need to proclaim their love for his wonderfulness. And then imagine the dude gets the Nobel Peace Prize while continuing to try to keep innocent people in prison knowing that they are innocent, complete with trying to introduce tortured confessions into court that you know are false, and then watch as many intelligent people who share your part of the political spectrum proceed to claim everything from "he's done plenty!" to "he deserves it for his noble words!" to "other people have gotten it for treaties and fighting for causes that failed after a while, so it makes perfect sense to give it to him!" Then think about what you'd feel like.

******

*points and prizes to whoever gets this reference; tho it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with anything, it just came to mind

*******

eta: I've seen a number of people compare this. to Al Gore's getting the Nobel Peace Prize. I think Al deserved it. Al is, and for decades has been trying to stop this: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/10/be-afraid-be-very-afraid.html (money quote: "What we have shown is that in the last period when CO2 levels were sustained at levels close to where they are today, there was no icecap on Antarctica and sea levels were 25-40m higher," said research leader Aradhna Tripati from the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA)." That's meters. That's enough to drown a 10-story building. That's enough to make several billion people move to higher ground or die. Or both. It won't be pleasant for the people they move in on either..

And until recently getting nothing but ridicule or people ignoring him for his effforts. He's been the single most public voice of this debate, and he was there first. Give him prize.

Of course, while paying attention and occasionally clapping, people still don't seem really aware of the problem. Or, to quote again from Quixote's awesome, must-be-read post:

So, there you have it. The last time greenhouse gases were this high, there wasn't a 2% chance of melting ice sheets. There was a 100% chance.

Does that mean it will happen again? We'll probably see. Because the answer to, "Do you want to risk the whole planet to find out?" appears to be "Yes."

Trivial Stupid Blog comment of the day! "Rush Limbaugh is something of a socialist."

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:49:14 GMT

On grrm's blog, the one about Rush Limbaugh trying to buy a pro football team, wherein he wonders how the players will feel having a pretty obvious racist for an owner (he is equally obviously many other kinds of a bigot, misogynist homophobe etc,, but I'm guessin ghte comment was directed here because at least women and out gays are unlikely to be playing under him, and ewww that image, make that playing on his team, and, okay, I'm quitting w/that now).

But, among the various Rush-ain't-racist defenders, and better yet the "who cares if Rush is racist?" defenders, we have, far, far far surpassing the idiots who think Obama is a socialist, someone saying they think Rush Limbaugh is a socialist.

I can't express myself well enough to give that the snark it deserves.

If I still read comments at Salon and HuffPo, would I see stuff like this all the time?

updated to add Okay, caliantrias has pointed me to something truly scary and even offensive, but also somewhat laughter-inducing, in the comments. This deserves main post status.

http://conservapedia.com/Conservative_Bible_Project

I can't remember if I said anything about this or not

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:18:02 GMT

Have been kinda preoccupied lately. But I figure most of you did hear about this despite the rather minimal mainstream news coverage and do have some thoughts, one way or the other, with regard to what solarbird said here:

http://solarbird.livejournal.com/879618.html?view=4753922#t4753922

To quote: the torture obscenities of the US government. I'm still processing that - as well as the near-total lack of reaction to it.

You are all aware that it is now a matter of public record that the Bush administration tortured someone they knew was innocent to get him to make a confession they knew was false,, and the Obama administration, upon learning of this, wanted to keep the dude locked up so . . . . well, I'm not quite sure what the motives were, since any possible assigned motive is not just evil but so obviously stupid from any point of view whatsoever (this does not help fight terrorism; it hurts our credibility abroad with everyone and keeps us from having any moral high ground whatsoever if any of our people are ever arrested for not doing anything, there's no revolt in the streets to prosecute anyone for anything and most Obama fans don't want to know he is continuing Bush administration torture policies and most Republicans are all for it, so, really, there is nothing to lose by letting the guy go with a written apology saying "sorry we tortured you for bullshit reasons" on the doorstep of the local Al Jazeera office (letting him go on the doorstep of the NYT or the WP might actually get the guy killed, so eager are these people to support a police state, thus my reach for a media outlet that would give him due attention).

I've kind of given up expecting anything from anybody, see my comments in her journal, but her stray comment has shamed me into thinking maybe I could contribute to a trickle down effect that would otherwise' run dry before it got the avalanche rolling (metaphors are made to be mixed), so, well, here.

If you aren't upset about this, I don't know why. If you still think this administration is doing a good job, I don't know why, I can think of a few reasons to want them to succeed however much they clearly deserve the same sort of vitriol heaped uon the Bush administration (which also deserved it, if not a helluva lot worse), but blind acquiescence is thus far not helping them to succeed. If left to their own devices, the goal seems to be Bush/Cheney, term 3, with better rhetoric. Yeah, I know, the despicable deluded nutjob teabagger crowd hates Obama and I don't want to be lumped in with them either, but really, all your support is doing is letting these guys provide cover for him to do stuff they would be cheering if Bush had done it. Not good.

eta: See comment for more important details about this!

Also, Leahy, Dodd and some other folks have introduced a bill trying to do away with retroactive immunity for telecom spying for the Bushies. Please your call/write local congresspeople and let them know you favor this.

I might horrify you all by doing more politics later, but it's been a tiring morning following a tiring day and night and I gotta go back to sleep.

happy birthday, palsgraf polka!

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 10:07:13 GMT

may you have a wonderful year in which everything goes your way!

Careening to the brink of doom and racing away yet again

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:57:44 GMT

This whole day was like that, really. Potential disaster averted though the outcome was in doubt till the last instant and the aversion carried with it its own problems, seeming badness that wasn't that bad; actual badness that was later mitigated by goodness, etc. Finally, seemed like a nice relaxing few hours to the day before Bandit decided to jump the fence and run after something around 9 pm. We figured he'd come back when we fed everyone. Nope. Looked and looked and froze to death. Warmed up and looked some more. Went on a last walk up and down the road and then headed in the direction I heard some dogs barking in the middle of hte desert, hand finally given up and headed for home to get some sleep before starting to search again after daylight, then found him, or he found me or whatever, at 2 am. He seems fine. He has never, ever gone off like that before by himself in the middle of the night; even when part of the fence is down he doesn't go far with out Dante, and even together they've never been gone that long at night before (and that would be up there w/longest ever gone-ness even during the day). Keep in mind, I technically got up at 6 am, but was actually woken by Satori and five and never allowed to rest more than 5 minutes at a time after that, so, it's actually good I have no paying work or reason to leave the hosue tomorrow. Also keep in mind, that one week ago, the high was 106 and the low was 79. The rest of the week we were thinking it was way cool with the highs in the high 80's and low 90's, with jackets coming out at night when it dropped into the 60's. Dunno about today, but yesterday alluva sudden the high was 69 and the low was in the upper 40's, and it's spose to be that way again tonight, tho it doesn't feel quite as cold both because I dressed warmer and it was less windy. Still, cooooooold. And tired. But giddy and euphoric. I will worry about future onrushing dooms later. Right now, all is well and warm inside and generally awesome.

eta More dogs! Our neighbors let their dogs out again, this time this morning, after daylight. They left their truck idling forever in the driveway, and left to take the kids to school, and right after that Nipty-nip (so named for his fondenss for nipping, and grabbing bits of clothing and pulling and tearing, though he is a supersweet-heart who just doesn't know better) and Looks-like-Marleys-kid-xcept-she-cant-be-a-daddy (who is sweetest dog ever, tho smaller than his brother) came running through a part of the fence the wind blew down (again! 3rd time in last week, same spot; clearly I need to prop it up with a metal pole or something)). and into our yard. While Satori, she who always attacks all other dogs and will even open windows for this purpose, was out. Fortuantely, she just barked and while they not-too-brightly came closer, she didn't attack before I could look out, see what was up, and yell "Food ready, Satori!" It wasn't, but when I opened the door she came rushing in and ran into her crate on cue (usually feed her outside in the morning, but even our nice dogs who like the puppies would NOT appreciate anyone coming near their food), and then I did feed everyone and then I took Nipty and brother home, suffering only minor damage to shirt and jacket, at least I hope so, I haven't really closely checked the jacket yet. Wheeee!

eyata More dogs! He ran off again this morning. Someone must be in heat somewhere or something, tho he's never acted like this before, and Dante is sticking around and never ran off like this. (for those of you who don't know, neutering does not kill sex drive, even if the dog is young when neutered and lives to a ripe old age) Sheesh.

Day of the demented / all the ravens in the world / I love my neighbors, pt 500

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 05:38:05 GMT

This. This, has been a hell of a day, from mid afternoon onward. In three parts . . .

Part the first, DAY OF THE DEMENTED

Work is over, catching the bus to catch the bus to take me to my car to head home. So, too, catching the fairly full bus is a guy in a wheelchair. As all of you who ever take or have taken the bus prolly know, there are special wheelchair seats that non-wheelchair people have to get out of when they're needed. Today, this guy, who I have seen on the bus many times and is usually very nice and soft-spoken, refuses to move. Says "why don't they move" pointing to two old ladies in the other wheelchair seat. And then says very loudly to the bus driver "fuck you". After some time of us all sitting there and the two old ladies moving and the wheelchair getting put in, the guy who apparently lost his marbles winds up getting escorted off the bus.

Then, the guy sitting next to me starts going on about how someone needs to beat this guy up. And on. And talks about how back in Ohio he made people get up to let a wheelchair guy on, and the wheelchair guy gave him a thousand bucks. And then begans talking about how he would like to beat the guy up, except he doesn't want to go back to jail. Describes in great detail, while lighting and smoking a cigarette on the bus, how he wants to smash the guy's head through a window and throw him on the ground and kick all his teeth out. And how he is an ex-con, and most people are afraid of him just because of how he looks and he has a lot of respect for me for sitting down beside him, and he introduces himself, and of *course* his name is Homicide, cause, why wouldn't it be? but even though he's done a lot of things to hurt himself and others, he would never not get up for someone in a wheelchair. And how if he sees this guy again he's going to follow him home and find out where he lives, unless he' just loses it and beats him to a pulp on the bus. People are staring, the driver is staring at us in the mirror, and this guy is oblivious to it all. We're in the very back of the bus on a long row of seats, his girlfriend in the corner, and then him, and then me in the middle, and some other really big dude taking up the other two seats, and his girlfriend puts her hand on his thigh and moves it up and then they get off at the next stop (err, no pun intended).

Then, right before I finally get off to catch the bus back from Palm Springs to Yucca Valley, this guy in front of me blows up at the people in front of him, because this woman asked this other guy if he wants her to hook him up with this mutual friend who is in jail. Why does the guy in front of me yell at her? Because she was being disrespectful to say "hook up". I kid you not.

********

Part the Second, ALL THE RAVENS IN THE WORLD

Driving home, I saw a couple of ravens. They were flying with the wind at a nice clip alongside for a bit, then we went into this valley about a mile or a bit over a mile from our house, I saw more ravens. And more ravens. A flock. Another flock. Turning and wheeling. At the bottom of the little valley, where lots of trees and a well where all the people out here used to get their water are, a whole host of ravens took flight from the trees as I drove by. Literally hundreds and hundreds of ravens. Other flocks of ravens were visible to both left and right. People had stopped by the side of the road and were taking pictures with their cell phones.

I have never seen anything like this in my life.

************

Part the Third, WHY WE LOVE OUR NEIGHBORS, Part 592.7

Sasha is out walking with our dogs when lo and behold, right as she leaves our gate, both of our neighbors dogs come running up. And go for the walk with her. She has to save one of them (who looks like Marley could be the father, except for Marley being a spayed female and all) from a rattlesnake, which was coiled right in the path they were walking on. Everyone else had the sense to stay away; this one wanted to go up and sniff it. She got it away. Then after the rest were all past, it started trotting back. She couldn't get it to come away so she ran off and hoped it would run after her, it did, or rather he did, and yay. So after she gets back I walk them down their driveway, to see their gate wide open. Better yet, it is stuck and won't close. I call our mutual friend Andy, who gives me their number, I call and no one answers. I leave a nice friendly message explaining what happened, and tell them to call me if they need any help getting their dogs back in. Apparently, the lights were on but no one was home. Finally, right before I started typing this, they came home. I go to check and make sure their dogs went home, and only see one, in our yard. I put him oustide the fence and hope he goes home. I check again about 15 minutes later because I don't see lights there any more. One of their dogs is in the fence, the gate closed. The one who stayed over here at first? Running back and forth between our fence and their fence, locked out. Don't you love these people? I'm going to wait till I'm sure they are asleep and put him in. If they come out and say something even remotely impolite to me it will be hard not to do unto them as my new buddy Homicide talked about doing to the dude on the bus.

For those of you in Europe or travelling there anytime soon

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 21:13:07 GMT

Sasha is not officially a web designer and is entirely self taught, but she designed the website for this store. If any of you are ever in the Frankfurt area of Germany, you might want to check out this place, as it looks kinda neat:

http://www.roosenhof.com/

The super cool paintings on the walls are by Reinhold W. Timm.

note: the donkeys are not for sale.

I should relax more about stuff

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 16:46:00 GMT

Cause, worried all y'all yesterday when nothing happened, and this morning, I'm walking out in the desert w/Marley, and I see her looking at something, and there's this other dog, not too much bigger than her, sorta looks like a yellow lab/husky mix, and she trots toward it and I start to say something but she looks friendly and it would be nice if she could have playmate for a bit so I watch tot see what happens and suddenly much growling and snarling and Marley is running back towards me being chased by *FOUR* dogs, two yellow ones and one slightly bigger black one that looks like a lab mix, and one HUGE dog that dwarfed all the others, seriously, I was thinking a Shiloh Shepherd crossed with the world's biggest Malamute ("wolf" crossed my mind, but this dog was stocky and wolves aren't, as far as I've seen; I've never in person ran into a wolf in the wild but this dog looked too solid, I would guess at least 120 lbs or maybe more tho it all happened really fast so, wild guessing as to size other than *giant"). And I'm all yelling authoritatively "hey Hey HEY!" at them with increasing loudness and they stop and I glare at them and they turn around and go back.

And Marley stops halfway in between me and them and starts to turn around follow them.

And I call her back.and she eventually comes and they keep trotting off, but then I start thinking "awww, I shoulda let her try to make friends w/them. *I* shoulda tried to make friends with them." I mean, okay, we don't want them following us home, and I don't want Marley following them home, and there's another roaming 4-pack out there w/a completely different set of dogs, two of whom are friendly (bull terrier puppy and older shepherd mix) and one of whom is iffy (chow) and one of whom is so agressive I worry it will get itself killed (small white yippy dog, toy sized) (at least I know who those belong to) and I don't want any sounds to draw them and who knows what could happen if the little yippy dog decides to charge all the big strange dogs, but they looked friendly enough and turned around qucikly enough once they saw me glaring and quit being aggressive almost immediately, and the big one smiled at me when I said "good doggie dogs" after they stopped, so probably things woulda been cool. Oh well.

I need to calm down about stuff. Some stuff, at least. Other things calm would equal stupidity, but for stuff like this, a laid back approach would probably be better (now watch this happen again w/ different dogs and me go "hi puppies!" and much bloodshed ensues).

Bears are amongst my favorites

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 17:41:51 GMT

Happy birthday matociquala!